Starting Fresh at 64: Saying Yes to a Puppy

I am 64 years old and about to get a puppy.

He is not even here yet and I am already having feelings.

I am also a retired dog trainer who specialized in complex behavior issues.

You would think that combination would make me calm and confident. Instead, Instead, I am mildly nauseous and Googling things like “normal puppy biting?” as if I have not been teaching this stuff for decades.

Here is the part I do not say out loud very often. I am scared of screwing it up.

It has been 15 years since I have raised a puppy. Fifteen. In that time I have worked with tons of dogs and helped families navigate everything from normal puppy chaos to serious behavior challenges. I know the science. I know the timing. I know what matters.

And I also know what can go wrong.

The last dogs I owned had behavior issues. Real ones. The kind that keeps you humble. The kind that makes you question yourself at 2 a.m. I loved them fiercely. I advocated for them. I learned more from them than any easy dog could have taught me.

But they were not easy.

So now, the idea of bringing home one puppy feels bigger than it used to. Just him. No steady older dog to model calm behavior. No canine buffer. Just me and this small creature and all my professional experience rattling around in my head.

There is a unique pressure that comes with being a dog trainer getting a new puppy. It sounds like this:

You should know better.
You should get this right.
People will assume your dog is perfect.

Here is what I actually want for him.

I want solid. I want stable. I want a dog I can travel with and grow older with. I want a companion who fits into this season of life. That thought makes me want to do it really well.

And that is where the nerves live. Because when you have had complicated dogs, you understand how genetics matter. How early experiences matter. How small decisions stack up. It is hard not to second guess everything before it even happens.

But I also know this.

Fear is not a training plan.

Hovering is not the same as guiding.

And perfection is not the goal.

What I want with him is a relationship. One built on thoughtful choices, realistic expectations, and a little grace for both of us. 

There is something beautifully humbling about starting over at 64. About admitting that even after decades in this field, I am still learning. Maybe especially then.

So yes, I am nervous.

But I am also excited.

If you see a slightly over prepared 64 year old dog trainer in the puppy aisle buying enrichment toys like she is preparing for winter, just know this.

She cares.

And she is going to try very hard to help him become beautifully, imperfectly himself.